A reminder that HOA's are terrible 

"AestheticsInMotion" (aestheticsinmotion) 10/01/2017 at 14:40 • Filed to: Pre-Miata times, Subaru, HOA

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My HOA hired a guy to paint the fence surrounding our pool. This is the finished job. We also have another company that disappeared halfway through concrete work and railing replacement. This is why you don’t look for the cheapest “handyman” on Craigslist. Fuck HOA’s.

It’s been like this for two months now

Everything gets decided by a board of directors, which is made up of five homeowners without the slightest clue how even the most basic of projects should be handled. Apparently they were all “voted in” by all homeowners in my condominiums (about 150 units in a semi-private spread out foresty area) but I’ve lived here since 2013 and have yet to see any voting opportunities.

This is the place where I got a $150 ticket for backing into my parking spot. Literally the first day I lived here. And a $200 ticket for creating “unsafe driving conditions” when I was walking through the parking lot and some old lady almost hit me. I’m insanely petty when it comes to shit like this, so I parked my car directly in front of the ticket issuers unit for a month (visitor parking space) with multiple dash cams hooked up to portable battery packs. What do you know, after two weeks I caught the lady putting trash in my car and hitting the side with her car door. Multiple times. Left the car for another two weeks to potentially get even more dirt... And then went to the cops. They went over the footage, and actually gave me some horror stories of their own about HOA’s.

They broke everything down for me. Apparently putting trash in a vehicle with the window rolled down can be claimed as “breaking into a car”. So that, littering, and a hefty damage to property charge (found a high-end body shop that quoted me something like four thousand dollars to do the dent/paint repair).

At this point, I’d received another $200 fine, this time for “loitering” near the locked mailboxes. Yeah. Okay. Suffice to say The Pettyness took over. Fuck it, I’ll play your game. Showed up at Ms. Fine-givers home—very polite—asking if she would pay the bill for my dent repair. Obviously she said no, claiming that she had nothing to do with it. Returned later with one of the cops who had gone over the films. Funny how quickly her attitude changed... Now it was all “oh I’m so sorry, it’s just that he parked a bit close, and I had trouble opening my heavy doors without tapping his vehicle!”

Cut to the end, she ended up paying for my repairs, some of which went towards the damaged doors, the rest being the start of my Miata purchase fund. She also paid a hefty fine for throwing trash where it didn’t belong. That was out of my hands... This is when I learned that you don’t fuck around with littering in Washington. You could get away with murder but if the police catch you littering they will string your ass up with no mercy.

So all in, I spent $550 on fines in my first two months at the first home I owned. My Subaru was damaged, my time was wasted, and I was given a pretty “warm” welcome by the first HOA that I had the pleasure of dealing with.

Ms. Fine-giver? She ended up paying out about $5000, some to me, some to the police. I don’t know if it’s related, but she ended up selling her Mercedes (early 2000's G Wagon) and eventually buying.... Wait for it. A Kia Rio.

I haven’t really been bothered since all that went down, which is all I really wanted in the first place. Ms. Fine-giver still lives here, and the HOA still doesn’t seem able to function in anything resembling a competent manner. On the rare occasions I see her taking out her trash, I grin from ear-to-ear, tell her I “better not see anything in the Miata!” (which she paid for) and enjoy her bitter looks shot in my direction. I like to think that we’re on our way to being good friends.

66671 - 200 [METRIC] my dash > AestheticsInMotion 10/01/2017 at 14:46

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Haven’t had to deal with an HOA but the more I hear about them the more annoying (understatement) they seem.

But, of all things, why, WHY, are you not allowed back-in parking????

benjrblant > AestheticsInMotion 10/01/2017 at 14:46

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That whole situation is nuts.

And you know damn well that if you paid a painter for that quality job on your own property, you’d get a fine for it.

Jonee > AestheticsInMotion 10/01/2017 at 14:46

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All I have to say is, “ugh.”

CB > AestheticsInMotion 10/01/2017 at 14:47

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Yeah, to hell with that noise. That sounds terrible.

AestheticsInMotion > 66671 - 200 [METRIC] my dash 10/01/2017 at 14:48

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I’ve been told two different things for the back-in ban. The first few years it was “the exhaust is bad for the plants”

The last few years it’s been “you could hit someone backing up, it’s unsafe”

66671 - 200 [METRIC] my dash > AestheticsInMotion 10/01/2017 at 14:50

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smh.

KusabiSensei - Captain of the Toronto Maple Leafs > AestheticsInMotion 10/01/2017 at 14:50

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I live in a neighborhood that at one point had an HOA, but because there have been no board meetings for at least the last 12 years or so, everything ends up being voluntary (and the county considers the HOA dissolved).

Also, there were no CC&Rs attached to the house deed when I bought it (Funny enough, the county doesn’t have any recorded either, and no one else seems to be able to find any copies).

Interestingly, we all end up maintaining our own property, and no one is bitching about “property values” or some bullshit.

Then we had someone who moved in down the street from a development just down the main road which has an HOA. Ms. Nosy wanted to restart our HOA, but everyone flat out told her: “No. We like it like this, we like each other, and we’ve all lived here for years, so get over yourself.”

It would just create problems that no one in our neighborhood wants or needs.

Tareim - V8 powered > AestheticsInMotion 10/01/2017 at 14:51

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surely it’d be more dangerous backing out of your spot? I’ll never understand HOAs and their stupid rules

AestheticsInMotion > CB 10/01/2017 at 14:51

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Small, nice home with a large garage in the middle of nowhere has been sounding better and better lately

e36Jeff now drives a ZHP > AestheticsInMotion 10/01/2017 at 14:51

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That’s a nightmare of an HOA. I think my parents have the best HOA. All they really care about is paying the dues so they have money for upkeep on the tennis courts and common areas and that you don’t have a satellite dish visible from the street. The actual bylaw says no dishes at all, but they are unwill to enforce it that hard.

Party-vi > AestheticsInMotion 10/01/2017 at 14:52

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My in-laws have an HOA that must approve fence installations, deck installations, basically anything that goes in or around your yard. I can’t believe an HOA gets to review construction drawings and make changes as necessary. Fuck all that mess.

AestheticsInMotion > KusabiSensei - Captain of the Toronto Maple Leafs 10/01/2017 at 14:54

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That’s the way to do it. It’s a bit more complicated in a large condominium because someone has to take charge for building maintenance and landscaping unfortunately. There are tons of high end luxury condos near me (4-5 three million dollar units in the same building, each one three stories tall) where it’s more like what you describe. If anything needs to be done, they just chat casually and make informed decisions about how to handle the situation. First time I saw that, I almost cried haha

AestheticsInMotion > Party-vi 10/01/2017 at 14:56

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I’m sure they’re all qualified to make changes to the master plans

/s

fintail > AestheticsInMotion 10/01/2017 at 14:58

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Did you buy into this heckhole, or have the sense to just rent? EDIT: I just read it all, this time for comprehension :) my condolences

First thing I will look at when examining a multi-unit residence or modern heavily planned neighborhood is a HOA, and examine the entire list of CCRs before proceeding. I lived in a condo with a HOA for several years. It even had the back-in rule, although never enforced. Most of it was never enforced, which was fine with me - it had a huge surplus and did a decent job maintaining the place. I always theorized some of the tougher residents threatened the meddling looking old ladies who did most of the board work. But buyer beware. Always find some neighbors to chat with, and meet as much of the board as possible before throwing money into a fire pit.

Nice that you caught and beat (maybe unfortunately not literally) the witless garbage tossing lump of genetic matter, I guess the good guy can win now and then.

KusabiSensei - Captain of the Toronto Maple Leafs > benjrblant 10/01/2017 at 14:58

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That’s assuming that you got approval through the “Architectural Review Committee”

Oh wait, you didn’t get approval to do something to your own house? That’s a fining...

Nothing > AestheticsInMotion 10/01/2017 at 15:11

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Man, that sucks. I’m not going to pretend I love my HOA, but they’re unobtrusive for the most part. Any construction attached to house needs HOA approval. Other than that, keep your lawn decent, don’t leave your trash out. I can deal with that. Our neighborhood gym/rec center is pretty nice.

DaftRyosuke - So Long and Thanks for All the Fish! > AestheticsInMotion 10/01/2017 at 15:11

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No backing in while parking? What the fuck is that?

I don’t see why HOAs are a thing anyway. You bought your home or apartment, you should be able to use it how you please.

Chan - Mid-engine with cabin fever > AestheticsInMotion 10/01/2017 at 15:13

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Our HOA is reprinting the entire complex, but some days I wonder if the contractors are doing anything at all. Some units have been sporting primer for weeks now.

cbell04 > AestheticsInMotion 10/01/2017 at 15:14

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Counterpoint. I live in a 1000 home neighborhood with an hoa. So many homes means they are basically rich. All our needs are met in a timely manner. The have about 2 events a month one for kids one for adults (Oktoberfest is in 2 weeks last year we had about 6 breweries passing out 20 types of free beer + free food + home brewer comp + all kinds of adult games and the more beer you bring to share the more raffle tickets you get for a huge prize giveaway so that means there is way to much to drink all customs and crafts) anyway I don’t have the time to post all the goods about it. Keep your yard clean and trash cans out of sight and your good to go. I think people move into neighborhoods with out doing due diligence and investigating them properly. Gotta do your homework or you could be setting yourself up for a nightmare.

E92M3 > AestheticsInMotion 10/01/2017 at 15:26

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Fuck HOA’s! I just got a letter saying I need to weed the lawn at one of my rentals. While it could use some attention, IMO it’s not THAT bad.

Cash Rewards > AestheticsInMotion 10/01/2017 at 15:27

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The reality is, someone thinks it’d screw up the aesthetics

AestheticsInMotion > fintail 10/01/2017 at 15:30

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Lesson learned. The positive aspect is I bought in when prices were low, particularly on this unit that was so trashed the bathroom and kitchen weren’t even functional. I’m in the totem lake area, and as soon as the big new mall and a few other Kirkland city projects are completed I’ll be seeing what my options are for moving somewhere else

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > AestheticsInMotion 10/01/2017 at 15:30

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That is the dumbest dumbfuckery i have ever heard. Backing in is proven to reduce accidents. At my work we are required to back into our parking spaces.

AestheticsInMotion > cbell04 10/01/2017 at 15:31

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Oh totally. I’ve seen a few good ones, although I’ve yet to find a good HOA at a condo for whatever reason, not counting high rises, but that’s a different beast entirely.

AestheticsInMotion > E92M3 10/01/2017 at 15:32

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Wait... Like actually go and pull weeds? As in mowing wouldn’t be enough? I’ve lived in condos my whole life so maybe I don’t know what I’m talking about, but that yard looks absolutely fine

AestheticsInMotion > Chan - Mid-engine with cabin fever 10/01/2017 at 15:34

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You understand. Went through similar issues with painting. I realize everyone wants to save money, but maybe using a reputable contractor that lives or dies based on referrals would be a good idea

LongbowMkII > cbell04 10/01/2017 at 15:37

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sounds nice

cbell04 > AestheticsInMotion 10/01/2017 at 15:42

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true we are traditional homes. I think the closer people live to each other the worse they are.

E90M3 > E92M3 10/01/2017 at 15:44

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Roswell, man. I’m sure if you had a goldendoolde in the front yard they’d make an exception.

fhrblig > AestheticsInMotion 10/01/2017 at 15:52

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We’re in a condo so they can’t be avoided, but ours is mostly benign. They take way too long to repair potholes though.

fintail > AestheticsInMotion 10/01/2017 at 16:04

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If you end up on a transit line, that might help a lot. Very hard to time this market in regards to condos. I’ve been keeping an eye on it too, and the insane cost of HOAs irks me more than anything else. For $400/month, it’s a huge carrying cost, and one that doesn’t get the goofy tax break.

Unfortunately, houses seem to inflate 3x faster than condos, so when the time comes, the affordable cool little detached house with garage might end up being in Hoquiam or Spokane :)

Variance > cbell04 10/01/2017 at 16:14

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I feel like this is what HOAs SHOULD be: enforce a small number of rules to maintain a basic quality of life (without being petty), and coordinate events to foster a sense of community in the neighborhood. It’s a shame that most HOAs I hear about are like the OP’s, rather than yours.

Eric @ opposite-lock.com > AestheticsInMotion 10/01/2017 at 16:23

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I am under contract on a house that has an HOA. At least it’s a cheap one ($140/year) and seems decently run. I’ve had very mixed experiences with HOAs (as a renter), ranging from the one I loved at my place in San Diego (they kept that place positively spotless and were totally worth what they charged) to the train wreck of an HOA at the last place I lived (didn’t get any fines, but they were awful, the building maintenance was terrible, and it was super expensive for how little you got). I am already annoyed by the HOA rules, but I have no control over them. My house is already non-compliant with the rules they sent, so there’s also that (which worries me a bit). I’m hopeful that we’ll avoid special assessments, but the way the development was built gives me pause... Of course, I have no escape now and already know the house needs at least 10k in stuff (we knew and accepted there would be a terrible least 5k of it when we put in the offer), but at least we got 9.5k off the list price as a result of everything.

It sounds like yours is as shitty as my second one. I wish they’d stop with the HOA thing on SFHs. I’m also not sure if they’re only a problem here, or if I just got lucky the first time. Nobody I know in CA that lives in a place with one has said anything but good about them.

Eric @ opposite-lock.com > AestheticsInMotion 10/01/2017 at 16:37

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My first one had an official no-backing rule, but they didn’t enforce anything petty like that. In fact, they really didn’t enforce or need to enforce anything. Everyone was cool/mellow when I lived there from years of living normal upper-middle-class suburban lives before retiring to a condo building in sunny San Diego... One small bonus of being the youngest person living among about 200 retirees.

Eric @ opposite-lock.com > AestheticsInMotion 10/01/2017 at 17:02

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The minor benefits of having plenty of money...

Birddog > AestheticsInMotion 10/01/2017 at 17:24

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Counter point.

That’s a pic of my neighbors back yard. It was worse before they were forclosed on. Random derelict cars, piles of scrap metal, bicycles piled waist high.. The only time the lawn got cut was when I did it for them.

Poorly run HOAs, just like any other business, do suck. With an HOA you have the opportunity to join and change things. It does look like you have a poorly run HOA. My condolences.

Amoore100 > AestheticsInMotion 10/01/2017 at 18:26

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Bull. Here around the University of Arizona it’s back-in parking required on all streets for bicycle safety. Makes sense, although given the quality of American drivers, pedestrian safety somewhat concerns me (confuse the pedals and whoops, you’re in CVS).

cbell04 > Variance 10/01/2017 at 19:38

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That’s an amazingly simple summary and I think your right. If they work to make us enjoy each other’s company rather than loath it the neighborhood has less problems.

E92M3 > AestheticsInMotion 10/01/2017 at 21:04

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Worse, I had to call and make sure the HOA manager actually had the right address. I said I would spray it with some weed & feed, and she says, “I need a copy of an invoice showing you are having the grass treated by a professional 7 or more times a year”.

I honestly think they just hate to have a rental in the neighborhood.

E92M3 > E90M3 10/01/2017 at 21:10

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This one is actually in Marietta (even worse).

aquila121 > AestheticsInMotion 10/01/2017 at 22:26

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This past summer my condo association sent a letter that they were having the loop road repaved. While it was welcome that the couple of serious potholes would be fixed, the 30-day notice to come up with $2,000 (from every homeowner in the development) to pay for said work was ridiculous. I asked the managing company that collects monthly dues and the like, and they said any other major project like this has payment spread out over a year or 18 months to soften the blow.

Once they got started, the paving company stopped halfway through and left our road torn up. It was a full month before they were dragged back in to finish. Oh, and the pavers managed to break the framing trim around my garage when they worked on our driveway. Given that they took forever to finish (and that the condo association refused to give contact info to complain about the two grand fee), I’ve given up on having someone fix it for now.

Sorry for the long, selfish rant. I sympathize.

AestheticsInMotion > fintail 10/02/2017 at 00:52

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Hoquiam... I don’t even recognize that but it sounds like a fishing town. No thanks! Wouldn’t mind something in the pass. There’s got to be a few cheap places between Sultan and Leavenworth right? I know Snoqualmie and Northbend housing has lready gone through the roof unfortunately

Some of my neighbors have recently sold for triple what they invested, and I bought in at a much lower price then them. Unfortunately.... Even if I managed to make 4x as much on the sale I’d still be stuck with the bottom of the barrel as far as actual houses go. I’m thinking slightly nicer condo this time. Or move to Oregon/Colorado/Montana and enjoy 4 bdrm, 3bth 3 car garages for pennies...

AestheticsInMotion > Eric @ opposite-lock.com 10/02/2017 at 00:55

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No kidding. What I wouldn’t give to be able to buy into one of the downtown Kirkland town homes made in the 80's or 90's. From what I’ve seen at work, that seems to be the sweet spot for interesting designs and quality construction.

AestheticsInMotion > aquila121 10/02/2017 at 00:57

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That is infuriating. I’m trying to imagine how I’d respond in that situation...

Well, I wish you the best. Get out if the opportunity presents itself

AestheticsInMotion > Birddog 10/02/2017 at 01:01

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I feel like the type of people who would leave a house like that will be... Annoying... Regardless of HOA’s. But yeah you’ve definitely got a point. I’ll definitely try to find a good one next time.

I think that short of possibly spending a year or two in a highrise downtown—on my bucketlist—I’m done with condos. I’ve yet to hear of any local HOA’s for condominiums that were anything but terrible, at least until you get into the $900,000+ units.... Ha.

Birddog > AestheticsInMotion 10/02/2017 at 01:38

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Annoying to say the least. I don’t normally judge people but. Man.. The day they moved in, the city and county Police were here. “Redneck” is not something a family man should work up to being.

Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer > AestheticsInMotion 10/02/2017 at 07:40

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Uh.....................................

“Creating unsafe driving conditions” by BACKING IN?!?!?!?!?

The bullshit-o-meter is high with this one. How the hell can you even come to that conclusion? These people are idiots.

fintail > AestheticsInMotion 10/02/2017 at 09:26

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Old logging town on the coast - seems light years away, but property is super cheap. It can also get affordable once you are north of Arlington or so, or south of Tumwater. The problem with all of those is you’d need I5 to get into built up civilization (with employers or affluent people who need window cleaning), which would make them all potential nightmares, especially in the winter. I think the 90 commute would be less bad if one has AWD and some clearance.

I know someone who has a cabin on Stevens Pass. It wasn’t as cheap as one might think, and it is pretty rustic, not necessarily in a good way.

For those who aren’t lucky-timed boomers, foreign money launderers, trust funders, or don’t have two nice incomes, detached houses in non-demilitarized zones aren’t so realistic around here. The problem with some of those places listed is wages to pay the mortgage. And to think, a mere 30-35 years ago, relatively normal working people could still afford to buy into relatively desirable eastside locations - you could get Bellevue west of 405 or Kirkland west of Market for 100K no problem.

Eric @ opposite-lock.com > AestheticsInMotion 10/02/2017 at 11:49

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The late-80s to early-90s really were a high point, with a mix of practical floorplans and high quality construction (though I’m not sure why). Everything built in the last boom seems to have problems, plus there seem to be an unlimited number of crappy apartment-to-condo conversions everywhere (mostly built in the era that gave us the majority of the awful housing stock of today).

ateamfan42 > DaftRyosuke - So Long and Thanks for All the Fish! 10/02/2017 at 14:43

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I don’t see why HOAs are a thing anyway. You bought your home or apartment, you should be able to use it how you please.

They are a thing because apparently some people actually LIKE paying high fees so they can be told what color to paint their house and how to park their cars on their own property. I’ll never get it.